sliding down towards
I’m a teenager. Teenagers normally go through a lot of stuff. I went through a mountain range before I became a teenager and once I did become a teenager I was forced through another mountain range but with extra obstacles, longer fuck days, and just plain nastiness you can’t find anywhere else but in Mt. Teenagehood.
I’m going away for college not because of the parties, not because I can’t stand this island, not because it’s the normal thing for a teenager to do once they reach this age and start thinking about future = freedom. No. I don’t give a shit about the parties, never did, I don’t give a damn about ”being stuck” on this island because this is a fine place to be for all you idiots out there, and why would I want freedom? If that’s your equation well then it’s incomplete because it goes more like : future = freedom = independence = bills = starting point which is lockdown.
No, I am going away for college because it will allow me to, hopefully, grow as a person, let me be able to fuck up, do my mistakes, not learn from them, do them again AND THEN learn from then. I don’t want to be held down by you. You have to learn how to live and do without me and I have to learn how to live and do without you. I’m sick of being the youngest and being expected to be the mature one, to handle all those responsiblities that someone my age shouldn’t even know about. I’m sick of it. I didn’t mind when I was younger because I was willing to accept it and I accepted it and I’m more than willing to uphold it if you weren’t so suffocating and a typical parent in thinking that you can let me know all the inside stuff without really knowing it and giving me more than your share and my share of the burden while still putting me in this very inferior position. You and your Korean mindsets. It’s disgusting.
No, I am not against my own ethnicity. That’s dumb. Actually, I’m dumb. Because I can’t accept people as well as a younger me was able to. Instead of progressing, I’m declining into this typical, normal teenager that I do not want to be, that I worked so hard not to be. But what can I do? Plenty, but will I do it? No.
